Hibly Central

Back to the Blogging World.

2008-09-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

I know, I don't update.

I'm really going to try now though...

Promise.

Updates to come.

...okay.

2008-06-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

First off, I know I haven’t updated. Some of you have actually lectured me at bars at 1:30 am asking why I haven’t updated. I apologize. Well…here’s an update. Or more, it’s something I want to write down for myself so that I never forget.

A break. Some space. No matter how you put it, it sends the reject alert blaring in your face (I can hear the beeps now…). If you didn’t know, or have not talked to me in the past 5 months, I officially fell hard for my best friend. Yes, someone I have known for over 3 years. Someone who has seen me mess up. Someone who has seen me through my worse. Someone who has been a shoulder for me to cry on. Someone who managed to bring the best out of me. I fell HARD.

This past week we decided to take a little “break.” I tried googling “break” on the internets but it was impossible to do so without it having the word “up” right after. Trust me—I wanted to throw my computer out of the window.

So we decided to take a breather (way better word). For my personal awareness, I’ve decided to put down everything that has happened in the past week. Why you ask? Because

1) I don’t want to forget every feeling I felt. I want remember where I was when I broke down because I thought of her favorite ice cream flavor. I want to remember who I was with when I told them how much I cared about her.

2) I did some stupid shit. And by stupid shit, I mean STUPID. Things that I will never attempt again. So maybe when I read this in a couple of months, I will remember how incredibly dim-witted I once was when my emotions overtook the best of me. We’ve all been there right?

3) Most importantly, I want to remember what I took out of this. Why was the break necessary? If I’m so in love, what is wrong? In the end, this time of reflection has taught me a couple of very important things…and as gay as it sounds (no pun intended), I will have them for the rest of my life.

So it’s been one week. One week since we sat in her car and cried. There was no music. There were no words. Just tears. As I drove home blaring Dashboard Confessional I kept thinking how the fuck I was going to get through this. We have spent every living minute together for the past 4 months—never sleeping alone. Always on the phone. Eating every meal together. Seriously, what the fuck was I going to do?

The first few days were ROUGH. And by rough, I mean the hardest thing I had ever undergone. The pain was excruciating. I felt like my heart was at the bottom of my feet and no matter what I did to revive it, it would bitchslap me in the face and the throbbing would begin all over again. I spent most of my time in my room, door locked, lights off, TV on, and under some very heavy sedatives (the stupid part). I nicknamed my bed “the island” and vowed never to leave my island. This of course meant not eating for 4 days (…at least I lost some weight), being a horrible dog owner, and just an all around Debbie Downer.

My friends tried to stop by. But I forced them to sit on the island with me. By the 2nd night, the island was packed with friends carefully watching over me, thinking I was going to expire (again, the stupid part). No matter what I did, I could not stop thinking about her. When I closed my eyes, I could see her lying next to me. I can see her big brown eyes, her cracked smile, and my favorite part—her smile lines. When there was silence in the room, I can hear her voice telling me some ridiculous story, her laugh after every AWESOME joke I made, the sound of her kissing my forehead. And if I tried really hard, I can feel her lying right next to me, holding my hand. My body was numb. My heart was done for. The island was my calling.

By the fourth day, one of my very good friends forced me out of bed. She asked me to run “errands” with her. Little did I know, I would get another slap in the face…except this time, it would be a good one. We went and visited her mom, who is probably the most inspiring person I’ve ever met. She has undergone some serious shit and although I can’t get into detail, she turned out to be the biggest reality check. My friend rarely brings friends to visit her mom, so I knew it was a big deal for me to meet her. I learned that what I was going through—for ONE week, was something manageable. And that inevitably, I needed to leave my island. I had to be strong…so I could fight for her.

And so the drunken debauchery begins.
This is the messy part. I hate to admit it, but drinking my sorrows away definitely helped a little. Not only did it pass the time (and a vacation from my island…), but it made for some good stories. Slowly, I was starting to get my sense of humor back. Downing a bottle of wine before my roommate’s play probably wasn’t a good idea (wait seriously, what happened?). Or going to Bruce Lee’s gravesite at 7 pm. Dancing with the shirtless man that sells ribs outside of a really popular bar for 40 minutes while onlookers stared (one even videotaped it…oops). Puking in random bushes. Smoking 3 packs of cigarettes, being the focus of hundreds of pictures. Having a dance party at my house with a handful of gay men that I brought home from a club dancing to Amber and Enrique Iglesias. Falling asleep on random couches (Alki Beach anyone?). Having my sunglasses permanently attached to my head.

But then again, there was some soberness too haha.
Discovering new places for happy hour (Victory Lounge…$2 hotdogs and beer). Having a spontaneous barbeque but having like 20 people show up. Sober dance parties in my dining room. Bringing Bentley EVERYWHERE with me. Walks. Reading two books (everyone needs to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius). Learning the lyrics to Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop.” Realizing that I have friends who genuinely care about me and would do anything to make sure I was okay.

And now the lesson(s) learned.
Dun dun duuunnn.
For the past 5 months I have spent with her, I have enjoyed every minute of it. But in the process, I have lost track of some of my friends. And when things go sour, they are the first to catch me. They are there to listen to me bitch, but most importantly, they are there to hear me say how much I love her. And no matter what, they support every decision I make (and talk me out of some ridiculous ones…). I learned that you can’t be selfish with people. I learned that love really is hard. You have to work for it, it’s never just handed on a silver platter. But if it’s worth it (which she is), then it can be the best thing ever. Finally, I discovered how truly lucky I am to have the people in my life, including her. There was not one day I had a million phone calls and texts seeing how I was holding up, if I wanted to grab a meal to get my mind of things, or if I just needed to talk. So to my friends who put up with my emoness aka playing Death Cab songs nonstop and crying like a baby—thank you. It absolutely means the world to me.

Lastly—to her.

Lauren, You are my best friend. There is no one else in the world I would rather be going through this with. You have managed to change and move me in so many ways within the past few months. You continue to help me become the person I want to be and for that, I love you. Thank you for putting up with me.

-Enter Jason Mraz’s “Lucky” here-

why do i have this feeling...

2008-04-24T03:42:00.001-07:00

...that i'm going to get really fucked

[and not in a good way].

welp, off to LA!

Hi.

2008-04-22T22:45:00.001-07:00

I'm crazy about you.

:)

Thanks for the compliment

2008-04-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Lauren: Sometimes you say things that are funny and then I think about it later and laugh.
Me: ...

We are so awkRAD.

Oh boy.

2008-04-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

I usually don't like reading into this, but lately I've found myself reading into astrology and signs. If you know who I've been hanging out with these days, then the following descriptions of our "relationship" just make sense. Not gonna lie--I laughed when I read these...

Here is a fellow adventurer who will take you all over the world & keep you smiling.
For Aries: This can be a good and a lasting relationship. You are both fun-loving and quite oblivious to the faults that might drive most people crazy. This is an exciting and adventurous union.

For Sagittarius: This is not a bad match while it lasts. Fun-loving, adventuresome, certainly compatible. Both you and the Ram like to do your own thing, therefore you often part on friendly terms as you go off in your own directions.

Perfect temperamental match for Aries. Both enjoy the good life. Both are impulsive and brutally frank. They each have a wonderful sense of humor would enjoy each others company. Their only problem could be in the bedroom. Both like to socialize and have extravagant tastes. Both are brutally frank and arguments could be like World War Three. Aries sexual aggressiveness doesn’t sit well with Sagittarius. Both love the outdoors and love to talk about their interests. A perfect match.

...

Sagittarius will be drawn to Aries intensity and wild side. Both love to play with fire and neither will mind using flattery to get sex. They get along great as friends and lovers and a mutually strong attraction can and will lead to a long-term love relationship. A love of the good life and lots of laughter will be experienced together. Children and animals will be involved in this relationship. Both have met someone that matches their stamina, in and out of the bedroom. Sex could be explosive and will be a reason to keep coming back to one another. They are a powerful combination and friends will maintain that each of them have met the right person. There is such a thing called love.

...

Aries and Sagittarius are both the energetic fire signs and share a love of the outdoors, physical activity, and doing various things together. For this reason there will probably be an instant attraction on the part of these two that could last a very long time, although Aries may doubt the Sagittarians ability to make a success of a long term commitment and in turn, Sagittarius could believe that Aries is ideal as long as Aries accepts the Sagittarians idea of freedom.

The Sagittarian feels that Aries should conquer the jealousy he or she may feel over what the sagittarian considers 'harmless' flirtations. Aries feels that the Sagittarian must be true in order to earn any respect and consideration he or she has any right to.

Later in life Sagittarius may come to appreciate the warmth and advantages of the domestic scene but Aries can not rely on this. No matter what age, the Sagittarian will always gamble with life and relationships which could keep Aries in an angry mood most of the time.

At least life with Sagittarius will never be hum drum, if Aries' nerves can withstand so much chaos. Sagittarius is not naturally faithful and feels most comfortable when juggling several affairs at once.

Aries, having much the same traits as Sagittarius will find living with this individual an...interesting proposition, but not if raising a family is the Arian objective as Sagittarius is anything but a family person.

While there is love a plenty to go around, Sagittarius will rarely take the time with children that an Arian will. All in all this could be a very good match and if the stars are well aspected, you could say it is a match made in Heaven.

Hmmm...

Spring Break 2008! Oh snaps!

2008-03-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

This was the first spring break I didn't go anywhere. It's the first time in about 5 years I didn't go to LA. Therefore, I was a little hesitant to see how my break would turn. Even more, I celebrated my 22nd birthday during Spring Break. I wasn't looking forward to it, but it turned out pretty fucking amazing and I only have one person to thank. You know who you are.

Fuck I wish I could put into words how much fun I had. And it's all because of you. So thank you.

Bus Etiquette

2008-03-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

I am a firm believer in taking the bus. Not only do you save money (Seattle has officially reached a record for gas prices), but you are also saving the planet. Duh. It's a win-win situation. I save the planet and I get around for free!

But of course, there are some "obstacles."

These obstacles are the plethora of people that ride the bus. These people are NUTS. Of course you'll have your random homeless people "misplacing" their bus pass (you're HOMELESS...why would you have a bus pass?!), but you also have your annoying businessman who is constantly using his bluetooth. I'm here to write a little about bus etiquette.

1) STOP EATING WEIRD SHIT ON THE BUS.
These are the people that bring curry on the bus. They sit there, take up 2 seats to have their own personal picnic and bring the stinkiest food ever. Seriously people, do you KNOW how small a bus is? That shit spreads FAST. You can't wait 15 minutes until you get to your destination to eat that shit? Seriously.

2) STOP TALKING ON THE PHONE WHEN THE BUS IS QUIET.
This especially happens in the morning around 7 am when everyone is still waking up. I really don't want to hear about what you thought of your best friend's outfit from the night before and how you plan on "finally hitting it" on Friday. NO ONE CARES! So stop talking on the phone so that everyone can hear you. Who the fuck has these kinds of conversations at 7 am anyway??

3) STOP DANCING.
I really don't care if you know the Soulja Boy dance and want to show off. Really, save it for da club.

4) STOP SMELLING.
It really amazes me how some people don't smell the odor coming from their bodies. If I can smell you from the back of the bus and you are sitting at the front, there's a problem. And you need to fix it. I swear...they really should offer little things of deoderant when you get on the bus. How can you not smell it?!

5) STOP STEPPING ON POOP.
Check your shoes before you get on the bus. If you stepped on poop, do the moonwalk on some grass before you get on. Please. This has got to stop. WHY DOES THE BUS ALWAYS SMELL LIKE POOP?!

6) STOP READING GROSS STUFF.
I am always astonished when I see creepy 47 year old guys reading porn on the bus. Don't get me wrong--I love porn. If I could, it would be available all the time. But when you're on the bus...it's just awkward. And you officially become "that guy" on the bus. Don't be "that guy."

7) STOP TAKING UP TWO SEATS.
I know it sucks sitting next to strangers, but seriously, when a bus is full, don't take up two seats. Even more, don't fucking roll your eyes when I ask to sit down because your briefcase was sitting on the empty seat. You're on a fucking bus not a BMW. Fuck you.

8) STOP PLAYING YOUR MP3 FUCKING LOUD.
Get better ear phones...or here's an idea, I don't know--turn down your shit. Sometimes it's funny hearing the music you listen to, but when it's death metal and you're sitting right next to me, it's a bit annoying. And again, it's awkward. Stop being awkward.

9) STOP ASKING ME OUT.
I refuse to accept a date on the bus no matter how cute you are. It's weird. Believe it or not, I've gotten asked out on the bust twice. Gross. I doubt I will meet my soulmate on the bus. Sorry.

10) STOP MAKING OUT.
I hate couples on the bus. PDA is disgusting, but on a bus? Really?! GAY. Stop. Stop now please.

And that concludes bus etiquette. You ALL know what I'm talking about if you've taken a bus. If it wasn't for me saving the planet, I would totally avoid the bus. Oh wellzors.

If you buy it, we will grill it.

2008-03-10T21:51:00.001-07:00

My roommate and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Fred Meyer yesterday. What were we celebrating? Daylight Savings Day...duh!

I of course have no dollars. I went solely for the toys to play with. Plus, it was Sunday. And I needed anything to avoid doing homework.

But my roommate....that was another story.

He bought the most amazing Spring/Summertime toy ever--a Barbeque. And I'm not talking a tiny little baby barbeque...I'm talking HUGE grill. HUUUUUUGE. Like you can grill a whole team of hot dogs and burgers.

Our impromptu trip to Fred Meyer ended up being an impromptu BBQ. We grilled everything we can find--potatoes, zuchini, cucumbers, hotdogs, RIBS. These huge carnivorous ribs were ginormous. I ended up getting really drunk (of course).

Daylight Savings Day! w00t!!

Oh Wow.

2008-03-05T15:19:00.000-08:00

Umm...so I was shown this post the other day. Scroll down...you'll see a surprise.

The internets be crazy sometimes yo'.

Old people need to stop watching American Idol.

2008-03-05T12:46:00.000-08:00

When the new season of American Idol started up, my mom would constantly call me and tell me about this boy who "looks exactly like me" on the show. My first reaction was how can a BOY look exactly like me?.

I didn't think it was a big deal until today, while I was on the bus, a woman in her 50's tapped me on my shoulder and asked, "Are you the boy from American Idol last night?" I gave a little smirk and replied no.

So I decided to do some research. Apparently this boy is Filipinoish. We have "kind of" the same hair. We wear scarves. We wear skinny jeans. We both have AMAZING voices. But...that's about it. Oh yeah, there's one major difference: HE'S A BOY.

Am I really becoming that androgynous? (don't answer that...).

Here's his performance from last night. Again--I don't watch American Idol. I don't plan to. And I'm not encouraging anyone to do so. But I do have to admit, It is kind of funny though...

SUPER TUESDAY TAKE TWO!

2008-03-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is another big day...if you know how important tomorrow is then we can officially be friends. No seriously. I'm really tired of people not knowing anything about the Presidential Election. Are you fucking kidding me? Get with the program kids.

For one of my Political Science classes I had to make "commercials" in support of my candidate--Barack "The Man" Obama. Here are my vidssss.

And here is another promotional, celebrity-whored one featuring Zoe Kravitz at the beginning. She's so hot. I would get all Cosby on that shit. Just sayin'.

C-O-M-I-T-M-E-N-T?

2008-02-26T09:33:00.000-08:00

This made me laugh today...

Brandon: I really want you to come down here and play Rockband with me. Only people who are musically talented can do the drums on hard.
Me: I love the drums.
Brandon: Me too, but I suck at them. I have no rythem.
Me: Probably because you can't spell RYHTHM. oh snaps! count it!
Brandon: Dammit. It's one of those words that I ALWAYS forget how to spell. The other one is "necessary"
Me: It's a hard word. Don't feel bad. I can't spell committment...how ironic.

Today I sat and spelled committment over and over. It's a start right?

It's time.

2008-02-25T22:51:00.000-08:00

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of reading on a blog called Passive Aggressive Notes. It’s about…well…passive aggressive notes. One, I feel like it’s extremely hilarious. I guess some people don’t really know that they’re so passive aggressive. But also, I feel like EVERYONE is passive aggressive. We always try to be fastidious and careful not to hurt other’s feelings, but really, we’re all just submissive. So I decided to make my own passive aggressive notes. I’m sorry if you feel these are about you. I’m trying to be as “anonymous” as I can. But really, how anonymous can one be on the internets.

Dear Bartender with a really small shirt that you only wash once a year,
I’m really happy that we’re friends. Because of you, I can bring in underage friends and get free drinks. But seriously, if you hug me one more time with your bad BO I will scream. I don’t understand how one can smell so foul. Sometimes when you put your arm around me, you leave a scent on my shoulder. And when you leave, I can still SMELL your aroma on my fucking shirt. It almost makes me gag. Then people think I can’t handle my alcohol, but really, it’s because I can’t stand the whiff of ghastly stench coming from my shirt. I now keep fresh shirts in my trunk just in case I want to maybe get laid. God knows you aren’t helping me out…

Dear “Love of my life” that really doesn’t give a fuck about me,
I’m sick of falling into this gruesome circle of loving and hating you. Don’t get me wrong, because of you, I’ve done the biggest leap of faith I could possibly do and I have never been happier. BUT. And this is a big BUT. You continue to tie me around your finger and make me sad. Then happy again. Then sad again. Oh wait! Now happy. And so on and so forth. I love you. But I really need to get over you. You will no longer control me in every aspect of my life, including who I have fallen for. Because now, that person has insecurities and refuses to lay an ounce of trust on me. You’re killin me Smalls.

Dear New Love of my life that also doesn’t give a fuck about me,
Please make a decision. And please make the right one. Don’t go back to d-bag. It’s not worth it. I know you’re scared, but I’m scared too. I don’t really know how to really tell you how I feel, and it sucks. I’m not good at this, but I want to be. And I want to be good with you. Don’t break my heart. I don’t know what I’ll do if you do. And don’t tell me “I can’t.” Because that doesn’t exist. If you feel something, you feel something. End of story. Let’s do this finally.

Dear old best friend,
I think you are being extremely insincere. You and person in previous note should get together and discuss how you are tearing us at the seams. I hope you realize what you’re doing. I have nothing but faith in you (always have), but really? You’re being extremely well, lame. He’s a good guy. He deserves the best. So before you do whatever the fuck you’re going to do/before you make any more excuses—be the best. Because he deserves it.

Dear friend that totally peaced when I needed you the most,
I’ve always wanted to tell you that it really hurts that I told you my biggest secret and you walked away. Because of that, you deserve the biggest FUCK YOU award ever. I hope your husband comes out of the closet in 10 years.

Fuck I feel better.

I want one please.

2008-02-25T22:04:00.000-08:00

This is too fucking adorable. Not only is she so cute I want to squeeze her, but she's talking about Star Wars! Gugh. I hate posting so many videos but my friends and I just send each other stupid links during the day. This was my fave today...

I rest my case.

2008-02-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

Speaking of how crazy myspace is (check previous post), I came across this video.

"Seriously, why am I not in your top 8?"

2008-02-18T22:12:00.000-08:00

Seriously.

I got this question the other day.

In fact, I've gotten this question SEVERAL times.

I am starting to think that myspace and facebook and friendster and ihavenorealfriendsexceptinternetones is getting the best of me. First, I have to admit that I check them constantly. In fact, I used to get notifications sent to my email AND my cellphone. I will admit to having a problem when I would be at a bar and would receive a text saying, "You have a new message from ______ on myspace." I would then race home to see who wrote me.

But now, I just don't think it's any fun. And when things aren't fun, they aren't...well fun. I'm sick of getting Macy's gift cards all the fucking time. And I don't care where I can find cool ringtones. And I also don't like when you LIE and say you have a friend that thinks I'm cute and that I should message her. It's just cruel.

But most importantly, don't ask why you're not in my top 8. Or say, "Oh, I see I got moved on the top 8." My reply will simply be, "Yup. I know. I was the one who changed it." My top 8 isn't some secret code for who I'm fucking, who I'm in love with, etc. [or is it...]. So stop reading into it.

In conclusion,

myspace and facebook and any other social networking sites (which really aren't teaching us to be social...no offense, but a myspace comment doesn't count as a phone call...) are all bullshit. And I'm gross for being so absorbed and attached.

...

Umm, I hope this post doesn't bring me down on your top 8.

Word of the day

2008-02-15T16:31:00.000-08:00

My friend called me earlier and asked if she can come over and possibly spend the night. I asked why and she said, "I'm being sexiled."

Sexiled: to be forced to leave/be gone when you're roommate wants to bone down.

SPREAD THE WORD.

Let's talk politics!

2008-02-08T17:50:00.000-08:00

Why I love her:

Me: So what do you think about Hillary Clinton?
Lauren: I think it's about time she gets a new fucking haircut.

The caucus in Washington State is this Saturday. Go out and support your candidate [cough cough OBAMA!!! cough cough].

To find out where you can caucus, check out http://www.kcdems.net/temp/CaucusLocations2008/

Sometimes...

2008-02-08T17:29:00.000-08:00

...I really miss you.

Sigh.

a faint idea...

2008-02-06T22:25:00.001-08:00

So a friend and I really really want to go to Coachella this year. Unfortunately, we are both students which sums up to us being POOR. Tickets are almost $300 and we'd have to figure out how to get down there. I was talking to another friend of mine about how we really want to go and her response was the best idea EVER. She said, "Just faint while you're in line. They won't ask for your ticket and you'll get in for free!"

Sadly, my friend and I were practicing fainting all day. Yup, we are on a MISSION.

sorry...i have band practice

2008-02-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

ok, so i have been extremely busy. no joke, if i'm not in school i'm studying, reading, doing homework, or trying to have a social life. most of my buds are overseas (i miss you jack! corrrr! lizzzzzy!), so it's been kind of lame-o around here. plus, it's winter quarter. you know what that means--it's cold, dark, and definitely rather-stay-in-bed-and-cuddle-than-go-out kind of weather. thus, i've been doing just that.

to be honest, my life highly consists of another love--and that is Rockband. rockband is fucking AMAZING. this gem has my roommates and i setting up "band practices" as a little something to forget that we lead extremely busy lives...but also, it makes us feel really fucking cool. there's nothing like pretending to play the drums to a classic nirvana song and getting a standing ovation--from the fake crowd. not bad. rockbard > guitar hero. you must check it out.

I'm still alive...I promise!

2008-02-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates...busy busy busy.
It seems like there is never enough time anymore.

Honest to blog.

But for your enjoyment, this if for you.
Sigh.

20 credits and a pair of Doc Martens.

2008-01-08T17:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the first day of school. Mind you, I have not stepped foot on campus for almost a month. My days were filled with waking up around noon, watching trashy soap operas, eating whatever I can find in the kitchen, and of course hanging out with my best friend--Al Cohol. Indeed, Al Cohol and I were attached at the hip these past few weeks. But sadly, I have to say good bye...for awhile.

I am signed up to take 20 credits of school this quarter. Doing so will allow me to graduate [on time...w00t!] and it's also an excuse to not work. Therefore, my daily phone calls to my dad have already begun a$king for hi$ $upport during thi$ difficult time. Taking 4 full classes is going to blow balls. I've already done more reading than I have in a year and it's only been 2 days.

Farewell social circle...goodbye bars...adios lovers. For the next 10 weeks my focus will be school. Boo.

In other news, I saw a girl wearing Doc Martens yesterday. My first reaction was to laugh hysterically. And my second reaction was of pure disgust. They still make Doc Martens? Who wears Doc Martens?!

Quotes of the week(s)

2008-01-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

I know I've been slacking in the blogging department...and I really don't have a good excuse. I've been out of school since December 7 and have done nothing in my life besides drink, read, watch movies, and drink. Seriously, I kind of can't wait to start school again...

But...I must say, this time has allowed for some quality time with my friends. And thus, there have been some great quotes. Bare with me, you might not get them, but whatevs, get over it...

Ashley:
"She's mad at me. I told her to take a shower."

Coz:
"Want to go to Target? I have to buy new dishes...I had to throw mine out because I didn't want to do dishes."

Morgs:
"Of course I had sex with him, I'm a slut."

Sorry for being a lame blogger lately. But I hope you all had an amazing New Year. Mine was gooooooooood.

Blog soon. Scout's honor.

Apologies.

2007-12-20T11:27:00.000-08:00

I sincerely apologize.

I know, I don't usually do this. I'm never the one to openly admit that I've done harm. But I feel horrible. And therefore, I hope you accept my apology. Liver, I know that out of the past 8 days or so, I've been highly inebriated for about 6 of those days. Over 70% of my time has been spent drinking, doing stupid things while drinking, or curing an evening from drinking. And for that, I'm asking for your forgiveness.

XoXo,
N.M.

Sidenote: A few days ago, after experiencing an extreme blackout, I blacked back in around 3:30 am and I was in a random kitchen scooping spaghetti sauce out of a jar.

Anyone wanna get a drink?

And the WHAT THE FUCK award of the week goes to...

2007-12-16T15:32:00.000-08:00

The previous post.

WOW.

Really?

Gay.

...sorry.

Everyone needs a drunk post...

2007-12-15T02:34:00.000-08:00

I know, I suck. And I haven't updated in a while. But the truth is...I've been busy. And I needed some time to think. The Spice Girls = Amazing. I cried. That's how much they mean to me.

Just in case you were wondering...
I've finally made a decision.

Here's my rationale...

When you love someone, you make it work. End of story. You fight for it no matter how much it sucks and no matter how much you want to just quit. I'm not going to quit.

So that's it. Nothing else matters I guess. I'm sorry. But I really need to just do this. More than anything.

Oh mannnn

2007-12-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm officially in LA. God I have missed this city.

I'm not going to lie, it has already been a bit of a rough start. After having one of my flights get cancelled, I was lucky enough to jump on another flight. When I got on the plane, the attendant told me there wasn't enough room for my suitcase so I had to check it in and it would meet me in Burbank. I just KNEW something was going to go wrong...

Not to mention, this guy who sat next to me on BOTH flights was hitting on me hardcore. When we landed in Burbank he asked for my number and I just felt so sorry for him. So...I gave him Pizza Ragazzi's number. Hey, if he can't have my pizza he can get some other kind of...pizza.

So I land in Burbank and surprise surprise, they lost my suitcase. And apparently drama has followed me down to LA--I received over 22 text messages while I was in the air... All up in my grill (stupid girls).

So what am I supposed to do? I pick up a half gallon of vodka, a 30 pack of Miller Lite and a pizza [if you know what I mean...jk]. Yup, things were starting to get better.

But TONIGHT...TONIGHT TONIGHT TONIGHT!! I GET TO SEE THE SPICE GIRLS!!! Do you know how excited I am? Losing my suitcase, having to switch flights, getting creeped on by penis--all of this doesn't matter anymore. Tonight, it's just me and the girls--and 20,000 other fans. I AM SO FUCKING STOKED.

Around 7 pm tonight, my dreams will have officially come true. Spice up your life!

Seriously?

2007-12-04T16:49:00.000-08:00

Who gets bitch slapped?! No seriously, who gets bitch slapped? Oh wait--me.

So last night was probably top three of the worst nights of my life. It definitely takes away the one day of high school when I had a bloody nose for 3 hours, lost for Homecoming princess, got pulled over during lunch (all for some 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendys...), and to top it off, I got a big ass hole in favorite/lucky t-shirt.

But last night was definitely a different story.

I got invited to go to the Tegan & Sara concert with a friend last night. After meeting up with her for drinks, I noticed she was pretty fucked up. So when I refused to do something with her, I got bitch slapped right across my face.

My reaction was not to hit back. It wasn't to call the cops and press charges. Instead, I nicely threw my drink at her and yelled to the entire bar that she had herpes. What would you have done?

To top it off, I didn't get to see Tegan and Sara. Sadface.

I ended the night being incredibly awkward and drinking tequila until 5 am. Wow last night really sucked.

LA come sooner please...

Cats and Dogs and other Animals.

2007-12-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

It is ABSOLUTELY disgusting right now in Seattle. It has been raining for like 2 days straight. And I'm not talking about little sprinkles, I'm talking hard droplets that hit your head and completely drench the shit out of you.

I have never been so happy to get out of the city (the rains) and play in LA (the sun). When I'm down there I'm on a strict budget. So I've already decided what I'm willing to spend my money on. Nothing else. Sorry friends, no presents for youuu.

Here's what the moolah is going to...do people still say "moolah?"
1) A Spice Girls T-Shirt (totally going to buy a fake one outside of the concert...)
2) In-n-Out.

3) A meal at the House of Breakfast.

4) A meal at Al Cove.

5) A chili cheese hot dog and/or burger from Dino's.
6) One half gallon of cheap vodka.

And that is all you need to have a good time.

w00t!

meh.

2007-12-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

Things are very very confusing right now.

As a big part of my life is ending, I guess a new one is beginning? I don't really know how to describe my feelings as it is just as confusing as one of those Chinese finger traps. Remember those? I always spent my tickets from arcade games on those stupid finger traps only to have to rip them off and throw them away five minutes later.

Sigh.

To that one person--

You are like that Chinese finger trap. Except I don't want to have to throw you out.

Guess I'll just stay confused.

T-backs.

2007-11-21T23:38:00.000-08:00

So I'm home for Thanksgiving. God it feels pretty fucking good. I abosolutely love my family. We are straight out of an awkward episode of Seinfeld. My family is very outspoken and we are constantly trying to "one up" each other on awkward stories. Today my mom definitely took the prize.

She was telling me and my brother about a party she attended last weekend. In her very Asian accent, she started to describe a woman at the party telling us all she can see was her "T-Back." I've NEVER heard the term "t-back" before so I just kept listening to her describe it. She said it was "sticking out of her jean pants" and it was so embarassing.

I finally realized what my mom was talking about. Apparently Filipinos call THONGS (yes, as in underwear...or as my mom says "panty" pronounced pawn-tee) T-Backs. Thong = T-Back. Hahahahaha. Who knew?! Gughhh...I love the family moments.

In other news, I'm heading back to the city on Friday. Again--it's to watch the Huskies completely kick the Cougars in the balls. "TAKE OFF THAT RED SHIRT!! TAKE OFF THAT RED SHIRT!!"

Holler.

I'd rather be a bitch than a pussy.

2007-11-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

I'm off for some grubbin' for the giving of thanks. But I will be back...to watch the Cougs cry.

Gotta watch out for those All Ages Shows

2007-11-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

This weekend was interesting…to say the least. If you know what I’m talking about then you are probably shaking your head in disbelief.

...

Welp. Yup. That’s all.

RCRD LBL

2007-11-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

So...during work I really have NOTHING to do. My day usually consists of the following websites (in no particular order):

-Gmail (Gchat is perfect for the workplace. No one can tell you're chatting it up with friends in LA about 2Girl1Cup!). Although...AIM is still alive to me. Too bad no one is on it anymore :(

-Perez Hilton. The Gossip Gangster knows his shit. I can't help but want to know who didn't wear underwear from the previous night.

-Gizmodo. The inner tech geek in me. This site is pretty radtastic. It has the coolest tech toys--concepts, videos, GEEK HEAVEN.

-Digg. The best site to check out if you're bored/care about what's going on in the interwebs. News and videos, you digg?

But today, I was introduced to an AMAZING site. RCRD LBL is a site dedicated to free downloads of indie/established artists. It's from the same creators of Gizmodo and Engadget, so you know it's the ish. Everyone needs to check out this site. I promise you won't be dissappointed.

-End Plug-

A meeting with Dwight K Schrute.

2007-11-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

The amazing Dwight K. Schrute recently showed up at UW to do a little talk. My friends were lucky enough to get in and when it was time for the last question, my friend Corey was able to ask the final question of the night. What did she ask?

"Mr. Dwight K. Schrute. Do you think you can end the night with your rendition of 'Ryan Started The Fire?'"

'Nuff said.

Home sweet home.

2007-11-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

Ok...

So...

I'm officially moved into my new HOUSE. Yup, I left "Tragic Kingdom" and have a nice pad overlooking downtown and S Lake Union. Lately I've been busy with school, work, and the move I haven't really had a lot of down time. Nothing interesting except for some random booze nights and girls falling in my bushes [no pun intended]. Anyway, I will have more stories to come.

Sidenote: Countdown to Spice Girls - 32 days.

Sidenote: We bought a beer pong table. It's going to be our dining room table as well.

Sidenote: Here is a pic of the view from our front steps/house:

A funny little tale.

2007-10-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Morgan is your typical sorority girl. I met her while I was in a sorority and surprisingly we’ve been good friends ever since. Although I left my soWHOREity, Morgan is still part of hers—and she loves every minute of it. This is the girl who goes to bars and knows at least 90% of the people. This is the girl that doesn’t have to show her ID anymore at any bar on the Ave. This is also the girl who hangs out with a lot of homos. And this is where the story begins…

Morgan lurves the gays. She loves them so much that she decided to join the Gay and Lesbian organization on campus. As you all should’ve known, it was National Coming Out day a couple of weeks ago. You didn’t know? Jump on that kids. Anyway, the Gay and Lesbian organization wanted to celebrate Coming Out Day so they held special events on campus. The Daily, which is our school newspaper, did some coverage on the organization. The next day, the paper had a full page spread on the events of National Coming Out Day. And who was on the list?!!! The caption reads:

“Senior Morgan [Enter Last Name Here] proudly comes out of the closet”

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

The next morning Morgan awoke to phone calls from friends and fellow sorority sisters.

“I didn’t know you were gay.”

“I’m glad you are being true to yourself.”

When she went to work (a restaurant with a majority of gay co-workers), she was applauded and received a standing ovation. Her boss, a homo himself, even made an announcement.

The price you pay for being a good friend…

Morgan—this was seriously one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. The homos would be proud.

Too good to be true.

2007-10-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

My week of having the place to myself ends. Sad.

My boss is out of town and I basically have NOTHING to do at work. I figured I can get some good Bully playing time. Lately at work I've been having really intense nerd talk with my co-workers. Seriously, my brain hurts sometimes from talking about game strategy. We set up a conference room with a huge projector and have been playing Halo 3 and ordering in pizza because we are apparently too busy killing off aliens. I love work.

In other news, I need a home. So if you have any ideas, let me know. At this point I can either pay a ridiculous amount of money for a tiny place OR I can set up a tent in Nick's living room.

Free After Five.

2007-10-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but puka shell necklaces REALLY bother me. There's nothing I can stand more than seeing a guy wearing a puka shell necklace like he just got off the plane from Hawaii. If you know me well, you know how much this bugs me.

And now...there is a place where I can express my true feelings for puka shell necklaces and other fashion faux pas. Everyone needs to check out Free After Five. It's a hilarious website. Basically, people just talk shit about random things--in particular, fashion, trends, or anything that is on your mind. Upload a picture and let the commenting begin! I just did my first one tonight. CHECK IT OUT. My brother also did one...haha. If you notice in the above picture, we are both featured on the homepage right now. Our mom would be so proud :)

My brother's friend started the website and has this contest where he won't cut his hair until he gets 10,000 unique users. To be honest, I kind of want him to grow out a mullet or rattail. That would be rad.

-end shameless plug-

Ok, but seriously, this website is hilarious. Join. You won't feel bad for making fun of people for once...

The wheels on the bus go round and round.

2007-10-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine missed the person he is kind of dating. Granted--the person he loves lives only 45 minutes away. That's nothing.

But that is something...when you don't have car.

So what did my friend do? He decided to take the good ol' city bus. I am a frequent public transportation user. I firmly believe in its usefullness and efficiency. The only thing that BLOWS is the fact that your usual 10 minute trip in a car can turn into a 30 minute one filled with B.O., car sickness, and awkward conversation.

And that's exactly what happened to my friend. His 45 minute trip turned into 3 stops in 3 different cities and almost 2 1/2 hours of fun bus times. Yup. 45 minutes = 2 1/2 Hours. Crazy.

The length you will go for love...

...or some good ass.

I wish the person I loved only lived 45 minutes away...or 2 1/2 hours of bus rides.

On another note, my roommate has really SHITTY speakers and loves to blast music. It's fucking annoying. How can you not hear the SHITTINESS sound? I don't get it. I really don't. I guess I shouldn't complain--I was the one who gave them to him. If only I can take back that $30...

I'm getting married!

2007-10-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ok...maybe not. But it does make for a good excuse. Let me explain.

It all started when I was about 11 years old. I saw this music video back in the day when MTV used to play videos. It was called "Wannabe" and the singers were these 5 British pop tarts who filled my little heart with joy. I'll tell you what I wanted, what I really really wanted--The Spice Girls!

I was a HUGE fan. If you remember THIS post, I kind of poked fun of my little obsession. But don't let myself fool you--I am a HUGE fan. Growing up I would buy everything I saw that had the Spice Girls on them. I'm talking magazines, dolls, candy, polaroid cameras, mirrors, hats, shirts, condoms, everything. My room was filled from floor to ceiling with Spice Girls paraphernalia. No joke--it looked like the fucking Smithsonian but for tacky girl groups and a million British union jack flags. I even auditioned for MTV's Fanatic in hopes of spicing up my life in person!

Yes, I was a true fan. I was basically forced to re-decorate my room when I reached the age of 15, as the Girls were clearly "out of style." Luckily, the internets became more and more accessible and I was able to keep track of each Spice Girl a la dial up internet. I will be the first to admit that I used to pray that the Spice Girls reunited. And now...my dream has come true.

The girls announced earlier this year that they were reuniting. They are only playing a handful of shows in the US and had people "sign up" to buy tickets. Not even a guarantee! I put in every email address I can conjure up (thank god they're free these days!), and signed up for every city they were performing.

Fast forward to Sunday night, September 30. I receive an email around 11 pm telling me I won a chance to purchase tickets. All I had to do was wake up at 10 am and press the "purchase" button. Done and done.

I woke up and found out tickets sold out in 38 seconds in London. Are.You.Serious. I have never been so nervous than when I was purchasing my tickets. But...a good 3 windows up at the same time and a straight 10 minutes of hitting "refresh" and I was on my way.

I got tickets. Yes indeed, I am going to see my girls.

Of course a problem ensued: I found out I had a final on the same day as the concert. Considering I have to fly to LA for the concert, I didn't think it would be plausible to use "Oh professor, I need to reschedule my final. I'm going to see the Spice Girls in concert. You've never heard of them? They're a washed up girl band from the 90's, but I'm still grossly obsessed with them" as an excuse.

So I started thinking...what can I say? I then decided to tell him my brother was getting married and I had to leave Thursday to be in the wedding. Good excuse right?

As I practiced my "speech" on the way to the prof's office hours, I kept thinking of other details I can give him. "Yeah, my brother and I are best friends. We used to wrestle...and now he's getting married...crazy...ha...ha..ha..."

So I got to his office. And this is what I told him:

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about the final on December 7. I actually need to reschedule it or take it at a different time. -gulps- Umm...I'm getting married. -GASP- Umm...yeah, that's right...umm...yeah, I'm getting married."

Not only did I make a fucking HUGE mistake, but I preceded to ramble on:

"Yeah, umm...my engagement partner and I are getting married December 7 because 7 is toally like my favorite number -pause- And it's also our anniversary and stuff. -pause- And December is just so pretty. -pause- And my mom is coming, so that's pretty cool."

Oh dear.

Well, the professor bought it. And he scheduled my final for the Thursday before the concert. Yup...

Hey, at least I get see my Girls. 5th row too! I can feel the Spice sweat already...yesssssssss.

Thank you for smoking.

2007-10-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

Smoking is a terrible habit. Unfortunately, I took my first drag of a cigarette when I was a junior in high school. Although it was a temporary thing (I only went through a pack once a month), I still enjoyed the little cancer sticks.

After graduating high school, I started smoking more. My friends and I would sneak off from our homes and climb a tree or hike a hill to smoke a cigarette. I was a little relieved when I got to college and I was able to smoke anytime I want. I no longer had to drive somewhere so no one would see me, spray a ton of perfume on me, and eat a box of altoids. My smoking habits were accepted, besides the occasional smirks of course.

In the sorority, there was a group of us who would always go out and smoke. It kind of turned into the "badass" kids who had to walk 25 feet away from the house to smoke. There, we would catch up on our gossip and more importantly, make plans for the night. This was crucial because it was always nice to have plans--to always be the "go to" person when it came to going out.

During my junior year, I started notice the downside of smoking. All of a sudden, I constantly smelled of smoke. I went to the doctor to ask how to get rid of smoker's cough in which he replied, "Stop smoking." My parents finally found out I smoked (it only took them 5 years), and my mom begged me to quit. So earlier this summer I quit. Cold turkey.

...

Then...I started my new job. Let me tell you--I did NOT want to start smoking again. In fact, it had been 4 months since I had quit (besides the occasional drunk cigarette outside a bar). But...it just seemed like the "badass" people were all I had at work. Besides sitting in our desks all day, the little smoke breaks allowed to crack some dirty jokes, talk about the episode of The Office the previous night, make happy hour plans--and more importantly--make friends. Yes, it's sad, but I definitely wouldn't have my friends at work without myself starting smoking again. Although I ONLY smoke at work, I still feel a little guilty. Not to mention--everyone is fancy here and they smoke Dunhill Internationals.

Most recently, I was talking to my boss during a smoke break and told her that I wanted to extend my internship. She said she would see what she could do. By the next smoke break--I had extended my internship until I graduated and was told I would receive a salary and full time job as soon as I graduated.

So the moral of the story is...
Cigarettes may be a disgusting habit. BUT--sometimes it gets you friends. And job promotions. Not bad. -enter smoker's cough here-

Gay is In.

2007-09-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

Valerie: Do I look like I could be gay? Cause that would be awesome.

Ayo for Halo

2007-09-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone is going nuts over the release of Halo 3. I woke up early this morning to watch the news. Iranian president--you're out (it's ok, you sucked anyway), Halo 3--you're in. Wowzas. I guess there was a huge launch in Bellevue last night. Even Billy G himself came out to play with the geeks. A handful of guys at my work took the day off to play. Everyone is going over to someone's house tonight for a Halo 3 evening. Hmm...Halo 3 or Beauty and the Geek? This is tough.

So True...

2007-09-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

Thursdays should be Fridays.

2007-09-21T13:16:00.000-07:00

Throughout my whole college experience, I've noticed that the big night to go out is Thursday. It's crazy. Until this day, I still schedule my classes, appointments, etc. at convenient times aka NOT on a Friday, or if it has to be on Friday, definitely not before 12 pm. Why? Because I will most likely be making my way home from falling asleep on a random couch, or trying to beg my insides not to come out and say hello.

This morning was no exception. Last night I went over to Nick's to make dinner. We decided to go hang out with his friend who owns a houseboat over South Lake Union. WOWWW. I want one really bad. We then went to Styx, a pool hall/bar that Nick's friend is the manager of. I had started drinking at 7 pm. I could've sworn it was time to go home and head to bed...but alas, I looked at the clock and it read 10:06. We then decided to head to another bar where there was some chick from the Real World [enter WHO CARES?? face here].

Who does all of this on a Thursday?!

And now I sit at my desk. Hungover. Without a shower. Trying to keep my eyes open. I've refilled my nalgene about 8 times and still, I feel like crap. TGIF.

On another note...this was pretty funny:
Brandon: Guess what today is?!!
Me: What?
Brandon: September 21st!
Me: ...
Brandon: The 21st of September!
Me: ...
Brandon: Do you rememba...the 21st night of Septemba!
Me: Ahahahahahahahaha

RIP Johnny.

Back to the Future.

2007-09-18T11:03:00.000-07:00

Jess: what day/time is it?
Me: it's monday, september 17 at 5:31 pm. why?
Jess: it's tuesday, september 18 at 9:33 am. the future is good.

[Jess is in Tokyo for work]

Work of art.

2007-09-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

My friend Nick is currently in a play called "Declaration." It's about the writers of the Declaration of Independence--but it's kind of not. You see, at the beginning, the characters ask the audience what problems they think are occuring. For instance, the guy on stage asks, "If only there was more _____ available," in which I yelled out "Lager!!" Then they take what the audience has said and incorporate it into the play. It's more improv than an actual scripted play.

Anyways, I decided to bring my best boy these days, Nick (not the same Nick in the play), and during the play, one of the guys asks Nick to "help him out" if something happens. In the middle of the play, two of the characters get in a scuffle...my friend Nick (not in the play) decides to jump on stage and take down one of the characters! It was pretty awesome. It's nice to see some audience participation.

But that wasn't the best part of the night. There was a young girl sitting in front of us...she was about 10 years old. She kept looking at Nick (I thought she might have a little crushy...). She even offered him some of her muffin (not that muffin sickos). Later, she was trying to show us a picture. We didn't quite understand her. After the show, I asked her what she was talking about. It turns out she drew a picture of me and Nick. Awwwwwwwww. It is now framed in my room. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Fight the power.

2007-09-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Today on the bus a woman told me, "You're really beautiful...are you black?"

I've never gotten African American before...I've gotten Mexican, Spanish, Hawaiian. Never Black. Today is a new day.

Since when...

2007-09-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

Is it okay to contact someone after work to do work?

Gay.

I want to break freeeeeee.

2007-09-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

So I have a friend down in LA looking for a new roommate. She wants to move out of her place to save money and figured that sharing a place with someone else would be a lot cheaper. I told her about my situation. Yes, the rent is cheaper. Yes, I guess it's nice to have people to talk to so you don't go insane. But...and yes, there is a but...I feel like everything weighs itself out.

Right now, I have a pretty hefty job. I know I'm not the President of the United States or anything to that level, but my job is hard. And it's becoming a true test, especially right now, to see if I can handle this as a career. Therefore, coming home and finding randoms camped out in your living room after you've worked a long day just doesn't sound ideal right now. This week is a big week for me. I have a huge presentation due as well as taking a placement test to determine if I can skip some classes to graduate. I guess this also happens to be the week my apartment turns into a fucking hotel.

In my friend's ad for craigslist, she states the following:

If either of us have friends in town of course its cool if they crash for a night or two, but anything longer then that is considered a proper vacation which involves a hotel. [this especially refers to any family members you have come to visit]

So I did some calculations [of course, because I'm cheap and Asian]. But if you have friends that crash at my apartment for a week...that is 1/4 of a month's rent. Correct? That means that would be over $100 taken off of my rent. This is a considerable amount. Correct? I mean, you wouldn't just throw a $100 bill into the toilet for fun. Correct?

I'm a reasonable person. But it has officially reached the point where it is so awkward that I stay in my room. And NEVER leave. I only go out to warm up my food. But I eat in my room. I drink in my room. When I have friends--I invite them into my room. I don't even watch cable anymore (which I pay 1/3 of) because it's out in the main living room. The entire apartment is furnished...with MY stuff. They are using my TV, using my microwave, NOT throwing away the trash (if I have to put my foot in the trash one more time to compress....I will dieeee).

There is something wrong with this. I would totally be ok with everything. But...I have a job. I have shit to do. I have TV to watch. I have dinner to make. And I can't do it with random people watching me from my living room.

In conclusion...Pay me $100...then we'll start talking.

Liquid NOcaine.

2007-09-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was one of the craziest nights of my life. Maybe it's because I'm lame now and just work all week. Or maybe it's because I can't hold my alcohol anymore. I don't care though, because it always allows for some good times.

I went to the Burlesque show with Nick and some friends. After downing over $200 worth of cocktails and shots, the waitress that had been serving us (she was an old "friend") wanted to take a shot with us. Nick, being an asshat, told her that my favorite shot was Liquid Cocaine. Mind you, I HATE liquid cocaine. It is the one shot that takes me to immediate blackout.

So I took it. As soon as it touched my lips I knew exactly what it was. I woke up the next morning with confetti in my bed (from the show), crusted fries on my sheets, and my cellphone, keys, camera, and dollars thrown throughout my room. I'm not even going to admit my text messages I sent out...

I hate you a little Nick...

...let's do it again next weekend :)

I enjoy you.

2007-09-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

I've been having a pretty crapfilled week. Last night, after being ditched by my so called "friends," I decided to venture out anyway. I ended up hanging out with my good friend Liz at a karaoke bar. After eyefucking a guy for a few minutes, Liz was determined to go up to him and start a conversation. Although she was kind of drunk, she was trying to figure out what her "line" would be. See Brandon, girls go through this too :)

Then out of nowhere, Liz says, "Do you think it would be weird if I took a picture of him on my phone?"

Hahahahaha. This was the best ever. I immediately said yes. And assured her that that wasn't the best approach. She then proceeded to "practice" on me of how close she would have to get in order to get a decent picture on her not-so-amazing phone. Mind you, the phone was directly in front of my face, basically touching my nose. No worries Liz, I don't think he would notice that at all!

I needed that. Liz, you are amazing. I heart you.

And this made my day too:
Amy: My dad went to the doctor yesterday. He officially has tennis elbow from playing the Wii.
Me: Are you serious?
Amy: Yeah. And Phoebe [dog] has to have surgery on her legs. I don't really know what the deal is with her legs, but Michelle had an appt yesterday to pick out her senior pictures and my mom made her cancel it because Phoebe had just gotten back from her doctor's appointment. She said, "Michelle...your pictures will be there forever, but Phoebe's legs may not be."

TGIF.

Rude's Chris Steakhouse.

2007-09-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of people. Is that weird? Like I really don't have any desire to talk to anyone. I would give anything to disappear for awhile.

Don't be rude. It's mean. Especially if I did you a fucking favor.
Asshat.

HOOKED.

2007-08-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

I am hooked on This American Life. It is the best thing to listen to during work.

Speaking of, I've noticed that every designer looks like Moby. No joke. Bald, wears all black, Weezer glasses, usually black turtlenecks. Crazy.

Food for thought: (do people still say that?)
I want one of these: A Pillowig. You know, so you can sleep ANYWHERE you want.

Two Guys, A Girl, And a Fucking Dirty Ass Apartment.

2007-08-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. It's 2:30 AM on a Tuesday, I have work in about 6 hours, and I absolutely can't sleep. I have a shitload of things on my mind. I'm not quite sure how much a "shitload" is equivalent to, but I'm guessing it's a lot.

I've decided on a few things tonight...
1) I'm going to cut down greatly on the alcohol. I figure that alcohol is the root of a lot of things, most of them being mistakes. I guess in the past week I've seen alcohol turn it's cunty little back on me and turned me into someone that I would usually make fun of the next morning at the breakfast table. I've also seen how alcohol can turn really cool people into really awkward, unattractive beings that you just want to run away from and never speak to again.

2) I really need to clean my apartment. Cleaning my apartment may lead to a sort of cleansing of my mind. Wait, that was gay. Regardless, I need to clean my apartment.

3) I for some reason just realized I lived with two guys. That's weird. They like to drink...A LOT. More than me (which is rare). I've noticed I spend a lot more time in my room these days. I miss Katie. Something just doesn't feel right. I think this has to do with a clean apartment. Man, I really should jump on that.

4) For some reason I can't help but think about where people will be in 10 years. It's so weird, but tonight I was thinking about (and this is going to be so fucking stupid), but I was thinking who would be on my top 8 on myspace. Oh lordy, please make fun of me if I still have a myspace in 10 years...but anyway, I wonder where people will be...in life. I think the type of people I want to associate myself with, especially today, are people with ambition. People that actually do shit with their lives and don't just get drunk every night only to do the same thing the next day. I was talking to my friend this weekend and every person I introduced her to, she asked what they did. She was impressed with some, but her dissatisfication with others kind of concerned me. I immediately thought if it was a direct reflection on myself. Guilty by association?

5) Her. In the end, it's always her. I just want everything to be okay.

I need a vacation.

This American Life.

2007-08-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

Today Brandon told me to listen to some NPR. The topic was called "Break up" and because of my current emotional state, I hesitated, but finally obliged. He had me listen to THIS. It basically talks about heartbreak and how the whole process is truly draining. But what I got out of it (besides a trashcan filled with tear soaked Kleenex...) was the fact that everything about heartbreak is about contradictory emotions. To be honest, and my friends are going to hate me for this--I would rather feel shitty and sad all the time than not have that particular person in my life at all. It's hard when you know you should let go, but you keep on going--just for that little ounce of hope that things might be different, things might change. I keep turning corners thinking I've found what I was looking for, but in the end I just end up doing circles. I wish there was a way to stop, but my heart simply won't allow it. And that is that.

Awesome Monday.

I'll always cut fresh flowers for you...

2007-08-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

Oh Carly Simon, you know me too well.

Again, I'm in a rut.
She came. She conquered. She confused me more.

That's all I got.

The best thing to wake up to.

2007-08-22T16:31:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up to the following text:

"I miss you. Let's make babies when I get back."

Sweeeeeet.

2007-08-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

Work reminds me of an episode of The Office.

I absolutely LOVE it.

Spice up your life!

2007-08-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

So my brother and I decided to come home for the weekend. I love coming home with my brother. We always laugh at the stupid shit we used to buy/love. So it was no exception when we were going through old boxes in our garage and discovered a bunch of stuff from our childhood. He found an old box he used to keep his "pranks" in which included whoopie cushions, fake cat poop, chinese finger traps, magic ink, etc. Then we came across the goldmine...I discovered my old sketchbook. Here are my two favorite sketches:

Bloody amazing.

2007-08-16T23:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a week since I started my new job. I now spell color colour, favorite favourite, etc. And I use the word "bloody" and "wicked" a lot.

Man I love the Brits. And my job. This is going to be bloody amazing.

Word to the Bird.

2007-08-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my roommates and I kept hearing this rattling noise in the fan of our stove. We just figured it was from the wind outside. Today, the noise was still there. I looked outside to see how windy it was and there was no wind. Alas, I knew there was a scary creature living with us.

Turns out it was a bird.

We set it free. It's kind of cute. I fed it bread and told it stories. Then I led it outside to join his other furry little friends. No thanks to Seattle Animal Control and their $200 service charge. That's bo shin!

Hooray for birds!

D.O.C.

2007-08-14T11:13:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my cousins and I would always play a game called "D.O.C." D.O.C. stood for Dick Or Chick. Basically, if you see someone and you aren't sure of their gender, you would blurt out, "D.O.C." It was pretty fun because you'd be surprised of how many times we'd encounter those damn D.O.C.s.

In one of my classes, there is for sure a D.O.C. I literally stare at this person for hours just wondering if it's a dick or a chick. I can't figure it out. I've talked to "it" before and the D.O.C. has a very unique voice. Kind of deep, but feminine in a way. It's clothes are pretty typical Seattle wear--skinnys, skate shirt, skate shoes. No sign of big breasts, but the baggy shirt doesn't help. I'm just so lost...

So today, I decided to take an extra step. I asked D.O.C. for it's notes to look over to "catch up" on what I missed in class. It was happy to oblige. Here, I would examine it's handwriting and maybe even find a name on an assignment [note: when I asked what it's name was before, it simply said, "I go by my last name."].

Handwriting was pretty neat, but boyish. [1 point for Dick].
Name written on assignment was: A. Edwards [no dice...]
Doodles on assignments were kind of girly. [1 point for Chick].

And the tally is: A TIE.

D.O.C.
Still don't know. Probably never will. I have 3 days to solve this mystery. Wish me luck.

Hmmm...

2007-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Apparently my last post has "stirred up the pot." I've had several people "think" it's about them. It has me thinking...

1) Wow, people really read my blog. Maybe I should be more anonymous.

2) Fuck that, if they don't want to read it--DON'T READ IT.

3) Stop being paranoid--it's not about you. Or maybe it is...hahahaha.

Props for people who write, "Hi, how are you" on my myspace...I love you thismuch more.

Oh cry me a fucking river...

2007-08-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I really think it's sooooo unnecessary for people to "cry a fucking river." These are the type of people that come into your room and rant about how sad their life is only to have you pat them on the back and tell them how much you love them and how amazing they are and blah blah blah blah.

Seriously. If you are so upset with what's going on in your life...CHANGE IT. I know we all get in our ruts, but to leave comments on everyone's wall saying how sad you are and how much you dislike everything in your life is just plain silly. Who leaves comments like that?! What happen to the days when people used to say, "Hi. How are you?" What, now my fucking myspace is Dr. Phil to your pathetic problems? If you are so upset, don't fucking flaunt it like it's in fashion. That's just lame. And if you're going to talk shit, don't do it on myspace. GAY.

I swear I'm a good friend, but honestly, sometimes you just have to take responsibility for your own actions. GROW SOME BALLS. It's called life--deal with it.

And that my friends, is a rant.
Have a good day!

This is my night.

2007-08-11T00:32:00.001-07:00

I'm working. It's 12:32 in the AM on a Friday...scratch that--Saturday and I'm working. Everyone is out having fun, and I'm here...working.

The good news--
Amber's "This is your night" is stuck in my head. Seriously.

Maybe two jobs and going to school really is too much. Fuuuuuuuuuck. At least I have Amber. Apparently this is my night. We'll see...

This is your night...
Dancing free until the morning light.
Together forever 'cause this is your night.
And everything is gonna be alriiiiiiight.

He's just not that into you.

2007-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever heard of "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt? I say heard of because I pray to god that you actually haven't read it. It's a "relationship advice" book that basically calls out when "He's just not that into you." Pretty much--it makes you feel like a big fat loser if so and so doesn't follow this "list" to show you he likes you. Gay.

Anyways, I was thinking about this book at 5:40 am when I was awaken by my roommate having problems with his "boyfriend." His "boyfriend" has been a huge d-bag to him the past month and unfortunately it is making my roommate insane. After a night of drinking, he decided to tell his d-bag guy how he really felt. As I lay in my bed, it's all I can hear. And let me tell you--AWKWARD. My roomie just kept going on and on (slurring and repeating...typical drunk talk) about his feelings. His d-bag didn't say ONE WORD for about 40 minutes. And I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. Trust me, I would've rather slept, but I just couldn't because I just felt all awkward and it was way too audible. I feel bad, but I feel like d-bag should be honest with roomie. Maybe Greg Behrendt has some advice to roomie?

Fuck Greg Behrendt and his book. And fuck the d-bag.

I'm tired. I wish I got some sleep.

The Next Big Superhero: Jason Waterfalls!

2007-08-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

When I was younger...ok, I'll admit it--up until about my sophomore year of high school I thought the lyrics to TLC's "Waterfalls" was about a superhero named Jason Waterfalls and they were cheering him on during the chorus..."Go Go Jason Waterfalls!"

I don't think I could ever win any of those finish-the-lyrics TV shows...

True Bromance.

2007-08-06T19:39:00.001-07:00

Last night I had some neighbors over to welcome our new roommate to Seattle. So these guys are pretty rad. They're from Boston (Shout out to the North Shore! I heard it was way cooler than the South Shore...oh snaps). Anyway, while we're talking, I notice they both have matching tattoos. After asking if they were gay lovers (I'm rude, I know), they informed me that they have been best friends since high school and have an immense BROMANCE. Ha! A bromance?!! Has anyone ever heard that? As the queen of puns, I was incredibly excited about this word. Pretty great...

Here's what the urban dictionary has to say:

1.
Bromance

Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.

Oh yes, and the new roomie is pretty cool. He's a drinker...oh yes, good times to come.

All Grown Up.

2007-08-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today when I got back into Seattle, my first reaction was to run into Katie's room and tell her how my weekend went. I was really really bummed to find an empty room. Katie had officially moved out.

I don't know how to really feel at this point. She was one of my best friends and has definitely made an impact in my life. We've gone through so much and I don't know how to really thank her for the past 3 years. Wow, I feel like we just broke up. But seriously, I met Katie when I was a freshman and she was a senior. I looked up to her. She's probably what got me through the sorority. We've always been attached at the hip. This is going to be weird. I'm scared. I will miss our TV watching, our late night food binging, emo music downloading parties, wine drinking, PUNny jokes, relationship talks, big sister advice, and of course--the cavemen feet.

It's just another sign that we are all getting really fucking old. She's off to Portland to start her new life, I'm finishing up school and heading into the adult world, and the circle of life continues as a new roommate has just moved in to begin his Seattle adventure. I can't believe how fast everything is going. Sad but exciting at the same time.

I miss you already Kat.

Holy Wallet.

2007-08-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Oh man...so this past weekend, Jess asked me to get something out of her wallet for her. As I went for her wallet, I noticed it was RATHER LARGE. This thing was seriously a brick. She probably had receipts from 1999 in it. Of course I had to make fun of her for it. Are you serious?!! It reminded me of the infamous George Costanza on Seinfeld. Jess = George. Gotta love her...and her big ass wallet. Enjoy...

Gotta love tourists...

2007-08-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

So last night I went to the Wildrose to say good bye to a friend who's leaving to head back to LA (why does LA always take the good people...). The Wildrose, if you don't know, is a lesbian bar over in Capitol Hill. It's the ONLY lesbian bar and thus attracts an array of women...and by women I mean 43 year old women who really look like men who ride motorcyles and smash beer cans on their foreheads.

To my surprise, three large men (who look like college football players) walk in and immediately order drinks. I was surprised to 1) see men at the Wildrose, and 2) see that they ordered the girliest drinks...cosmo anyone? Even the woman/man next to them was downing shots of whiskey. Anyway, as my friends and I are laughing, I decide to ask them what they were doing here. They reply, "We literally just drove in from San Diego. Have never been here. We are just looking for the good drink specials and this place is AWESOME! Looks like we lucked out too...there are so many women here!" I was very sad/excited to break their eagerness and informed them that this was indeed a lesbian bar.

I've never seen anyone chug a cosmo as fast as those three gentlemen did. Welcome to Seattle, "Bra".

$540

2007-07-31T08:35:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was invited to a dinner for a friend's birthday. We went to Pasta Freska, which was supposed to be a cute little Italian restaurant downtown. So my friend and I go because we've never been there and we here it's just one of Seattle's little known secrets. We feel like we are given the "VIP" treatment because as soon as we sit, they bring out bottles of wine to try and they immediately bring out an appetizer and bread. Everything is immediately gorged down as we think they do this to all the "newbies." The chef himself comes out and says that there is NO MENU. He simply asks what we cannot have and then brings out dishes he thinks we will like. We think this is an amazing idea because we obviously have never done this before and doing different things is fun, right?

So we carry on with the rest of the night. We have more appetizers, a couple of main dishes, desert, and finally a shot to finish off with (apparently this is tradition). On top of the several bottles of wine I was extremely happy to discover this rad restaurant. Then the bill came...dun dun duuuuunnnnn. The grand total: $540. WHAT.THE.FUCK. No joke. It was fucking unbelievable. Turns out each bottle of wine was at least $30. If I could, I would regurgitate every ounce of wine back into those bottles. Where's the Franzia when you need it, eh. That little fucker of a chef...

Totally not worth it. I get more satisfaction from fucking Olive Garden.

NEVER AGAIN.

Oh LA.

2007-07-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from LA last night. After just two days in the land of lala, I left feeling a little sad. I don't know why--I'm going to be back in 3 weeks. But everytime I leave LA I just start to feel a little bummed. I was totally the gaywad crying at the airport last night. It was so awkward. I couldn't help it. It was a fantastic weekend and I want back...NOW.

Here's how the weekend went...

On Friday, Jess and I went to the Tegan and Sara concert. We planned it out perfectly to get there at least an hour before the show so we can have a few drinks. But alas, stupid LA traffic kicked in. And even though we left at 5:30 PM, we didn't make it until 7:45...only 15 min before the show started. Tegan & Sara were amazing. Their onstage banter is so freaking awkward. I was uncomfortable just watching from the audience but it was HILARIOUS. And watching Jess clap her hands pretty much made my night. If you've ever seen Paula Abdul on American Idol clap her hands--that's how Jess claps her hands. It was kind of funny, not gonna lie.

We then proceded to this bar called "Renee's Pub" in Santa Monica. This was the most random night EVER. In typical Jess form, she immediately made friends with this group of hardcore straight-frat-brothers group of guys. One of the guys even had a shirt that just read "PANTS" in large letters. We didn't get it. Short for Panthers? Maybe...Anyway, these guys were pretty hilarious. They kept buying us drinks and one of them even gave me the shirt off his back--no seriously. I told him I liked his shirt and asked [as a joke] if I could have it. He said, "Sure" and took it off and GAVE IT TO ME. Turns out he designs them...you should check them out.

Saturday night was spent at The Velvet Margarita where they have a dress code. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why the fuck this place had a dress code. The walls were lined with fake velvet (think of J Lo's velour jumpsuit) and the tackiest decorations ever. It reminded me of one of those bachelor pads that have a heart shaped bed in leopard print. But it was a pretty rad bar...Brandon had one STRONG island iced tea and was pretty done for. Then we were off to the Abbey. I literally walked in and all there were hundreds of LA's finest...gay men. But the bar itself is fucking cool. It's basically 4 large bars in one. Everyone was pretty wasted and on the verge of a black out...which means it was a fun night.

I wish I had better stories...don't get me wrong, I had a fucking blast. But I think it was just because I was in good company. And booze was involved. Booze always makes things fun.

Oh LA...how I love thee.

HOhan arrested.

2007-07-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Here's the mug shot Lindsay Lohan posed for this morning following her arrest in Santa Monica for drunk driving and cocaine possession. The actress, 21, was nabbed after cops spotted her SUV chasing another vehicle at high speed. After Lohan failed a field sobriety test, she was transported to the L.A. county lockup, where a pat down search turned up cocaine in her pants pocket. Oh Lindsay Lohan--didn't you learn anything for Paris?!!!

I lied when I said Rehab was the new Black. Looks like Jail is the new Black.

Wowzas. Guess I won't be partyin' it up with HOhan in LA this weekend [sadface].

Time flies...

2007-07-23T20:43:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a year.

A lot has changed. It has for sure been one of the biggest/best adventures I have ever been on and I wouldn't change it for the world. A year ago, I was a completely different person. Now after learning a lot about myself, I can say I am exactly who I was meant to be.

I've never been happier.

PRO at Procrastination.

2007-07-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

I have a midterm in 30 minutes. And what am I doing? Yes, updating my blog. In my last efforts to understand what is going on in Astronomy 150, I have resorted to THIS website. Yup, it's working like a charm.

This is going to be a busy day.

This is the life of the In Crowd.

2007-07-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

Last week, I found myself running into a couple of people I had met at a party a few months back. We ended up having an awesome night so when they invited me out the next night, I decided to go out again. This time I was faced with meeting the entire group of friends rather than just a couple of people. So to try to "fit in" a little better I drank more, laughed more, and tried my best to be a little accepted.

I think it's funny that even now as an adult [somewhat...], I still find myself trying to feel part of the "In Crowd." I recently talked to my friend about this after another morning of complaining how I was hungover:

Brandon: You're hungover 70% of your week.
Me: I know...I met new "friends", so it's like the fake initiation...if you get invited to go out you must go out otherwise i'm scared they might not invite me out next time. Know what I mean??
Brandon: HAHAHAHAHA! SO TRUE!

And what have I gotten out of this? A straight WEEK (yes, 7 days) of going out, drinking, eating McDonalds at 3 am, getting hungover, being late to class, hating work, etc. But what else do I get out of this??? FRIENDS. Yes--thank you alcohol...for bringing friends together. I couldn't have done it without you.

Maybe this will be an interesting summer after all.

The Art of Eye Fucking.

2007-07-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

I've always been told that I'm amazing at "eye fucking." I used to laugh at this and not think it was a big deal, but now I have come to terms with the fact that eye fucking is indeed an art. I enjoy the fact that I can go to a bar and eye fuck the shit out of someone. The best part--it involves no talking, which means no awkward moments.

Remember [cough cough BRANDON cough cough]...
practice makes perfect.

And if you need a little "inspiration," download "Baby" by Pharrell featuring Nelly. He pretty much sums up eye fucking. And if you need more inspiration, remember--you always have liquid courage [just make sure the eye fucking doesn't turn into creepy lurking].

Noggin is a lifesaver.

2007-07-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

First, I must say that it's fucking 102 degrees outside. Which means...it's like 107 degrees in my apartment. It's absolutely disgusting. I had to run errands today and drove around in my bra. I almost forgot to put my shirt back on when I got to the store...whoops.

Anyways, it's been a slow summer. For the first time, I feel like time has completely stopped. I go to school, work, run errands--and I still have like 10 hours before bedtime. It's soooo slow.

But...I have found a new obsession. It's a little show called "South Of Nowhere" on Noggin. Yeah, I know, it's gross. But it's so addictive. I've literally skipped class to run home to watch episodes. My favorite story line involves Spencer and Ashley...you should watch it. It's a sweeeeeet show. I got my roommates addicted to SON (South of Nowhere to you newbies) and Degrassi. Noggin is pretty fucking rad. Noggin saved my summer.

Here's to you, Corey Hastings!

2007-07-08T12:27:00.000-07:00

Pretty fucking marvelous...Brandon posted this on my myspace so I thought I'd post it on my blog...

I present to you Vanessa Carlton vs. Corey Hastings!

Please find the owner.

2007-07-05T12:57:00.000-07:00

My good friend Andrew, who I've known since freshman year, came over the other night and we were reminiscing about the very many awkward moments in our lives. After 3 years of going out to parties and bars, we decided that one particular moment stands out. Andrew was throwing a party at his apartment. I decided to "stop by" for a few minutes. Those few minutes turned into several cocktails and lurking through cabinets to feed my appetite. Because I went by myself, I was obliged to actually make conversation with complete strangers. Thus, I decided to start talking to this boy Brian. We were having your typical "deep drunken" conversation when I decided to go home.

He offered to walk me back to my sorority and said, "Let me go grab my coat and journal." Wait...did he just say JOURNAL? So he walks me home and I invite him to the sorority for toast bar [the most amazing thing when you're drunk]. He proceeds to show me his JOURNAL. In it is poetry, dream sequences, and his deepest confessions. He then looks at me and STARTS TO CRY. NO FUCKING JOKE. This dude reads his journal in my kitchen and starts to cry. It was so fucking awkward. Finally, after having no clue what to do I decide to slowly walk him to the door. He then stops me, looks me in the eye, and says, "I want you to have it." As he shoves his journal in my hands he quickly runs out the door and I never see him ever again.

Me and Andrew rummaged through my old boxes to find that journal. We enjoyed the readings over a bottle of wine and were just stunned on how the night still made us feel awkward. That was the last time I ever showed up to a party by myself.

Anyway, Andrew and I dug deeper to solve our case of finding the rightful owner and conjured up some pictures from that evening (thank you Facebook!). Here is the guy...

If you know this "Brian" character please tell him that I have his journal. And if you don't mind--mention how AWKWARD he is. But seriously, I want to return his journal. So find him!

PS This was me at that party...hahahahahaha.

OH.EMMM.GEEE.

2007-06-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

Words cannot describe the emotions I felt when I read about this:

After almost a decade apart, Vicky, Mel C., Geri, Emma and Mel B. reunited in London on Thursday to announce one of the most exciting (yet expected) news in pop this year….

The Spice Girls are making a comeback!

We kinda miss the matching outfits, but this time around, las Chicas Picante are doing things a little differently.

Out of all the ladies, though, Mel C is looking the hottest at the reunion announcement, don’t ya think???

Their new Spice Girls world tour will kick off with a performance in Los Angeles this December and will take them all over the globe - ending in Buenos Aires in January of 2008.

Visit TheSpiceGirls.com for your chance to register to buy tickets. They’re gonna be selling like hotcakes.

CLICK HERE to read the full list of tour dates!

[Picture via Getty Images.]

Los Angeles - December 7
Las Vegas - December 8
New York - December 11
London - December 15
Koln - December 20
Madrid - December 23
Beijing - January 10
Hong Kong - January 12
Sydney - January 17
Cape Town - January 20
Buenos Aires - January 24

Boats and Birds.

2007-06-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs to check out the band, "Gregory and the Hawk." They are absolutely amazing. They're all I've been listening to the past two weeks. Their song, "Boats and Birds" is perfect. You will enjoy. Download now...

...

2007-06-28T02:24:00.000-07:00

There's a particular person that I completely don't trust right now. It sucks because I used to be really close to this person and now our days are filled with awkwardness and artificial conversation. This person has no idea who I am anymore and frankly, I'm okay with that.

You can poke and prod all you want, but you're not going to find anything. Stop trying to play detective in my life and work out your own shit. And don't think I can't hear all the shit you talk. Just know one thing--everyone you talk shit to, talks even more shit about YOU.

See You Next Tuesday.

Nice people do exist...

2007-06-28T02:10:00.000-07:00

After a pretty stressful day I was stoked to run home and take a good ol' nap. I've been really busy with school and work lately and my days seem to be getting shorter and shorter. Today was no exception. I should've known today wasn't going to be good when it started off with me running to class [and still being late], but in the process TRIPPING up the stairs to get my class. Yup, I was so embarassed. It's funny how awkward moments like doing drunk karaoke don't phase me, but tripping in front of people make me want to run into a corner and hide. Today was going to be great.

As I was driving home from the hill, I noticed a guy waving at me. I thought he was either being really friendly or he was trying to be creepy and hit on me or something. I finally rolled down the window and he informed me that my tire was flat. To be honest, I could totally hear my hubcap grinding against the ground, but I didn't think much of it, and in fact proceded to put my music louder. Gughhhh.

I pulled over to the side and realized I had NO IDEA what the fuck to do. I immediately cried home to daddy and asked him what I should do. His response: "Change your tire." Man I was pissed. I wanted to leave my car and never come back. I decided to call my brother and when he finally showed up, we realized we now had two people that had no idea how to change a tire. After making several "attempts," a guy and his girlfriend stopped and asked if we were ok. We said we weren't too sure of what we were doing and the guy got out of his car to assist us. He informed us he was kind of in a hurry but helped/taught us how to change a flat tire anyway. Soon we were on our way.

And this is why I have regained my faith in people. Nice people really do exist. After having several cars pass us by, there was one who actually decided to help out a bit. Not to mention, while I was waiting for my brother, a woman came out of her house and offered me some lemonade. And my mom told me to never trust a stranger...

This is probably the most interesting story of my week. No joke. The summer is going by s--l--o--w--l--y. Not a lot of people to hang out with, not a lot of things to do. This is going to be a boring summer...maybe I should get flat tires more often.

Damn homie.

2007-06-22T12:51:00.001-07:00

Last night I was talked into "a drink" at the Emigrant. That one drink turned into 4 long islands (gotta love the specials...). So after feeling pretty good with ourselves, my friends and I decided to head to Tommy's (my second home). Tommy's is another bar on the Ave. which I've been going to since I was 18. They are known for their "hip hop Thursdays" which at times reminds you of a scene in "Boys in da hood" or "Dangerous Minds." But after going to Tommy's for several years, I have grown to love the bartenders and their amazing deals they give me (I have never gotten a bill for more than $15).

Thus, I decided to bring some people there (some from out of town). After dispelling the rumors they heard of it being "scary and ghetto," I finally convinced them it would be good times. As we're walking up to the entrance, no joke--we hear 3 popping noises. At first we thought it was balloons or some of those little fire cracker things you throw on the ground that give off a little explosion. We then realized they were GUN SHOTS after everyone started running down the street. My friends and I ran to another store entrance and got down on our knees. Keep in mind--I'm totally blasted right now and have no idea what is going on. My other friend, Bratner, is just completely confused. At one point she looks at me and says, "Is this fucking for reals?" As we're crouched down on all fours in the middle of a store entrance, the friends from out of town reply, "Cool bar Mercado."

Soon, they had shut off a 3 block radius of the Ave. and news reporters and police officers flooded the streets. There was one smart man selling pizzas for $5 and was making BANK. Yes, I bought a pizza. Anyway, here is a picture of the evening courtesy of Katie. OH--and gotta love youtube--someone actually captured the incident on their camera phone.

Video taken...listen for the gunshots.

A long awaited update...

2007-06-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

Ok,

So since I left for LA (and came back), I have been extremely busy. EXTREMELY. I apologize to my readers and faithful fans who keep coming back to Hibly Central in hopes of an update (actually, Brandon is my only reader). Anyway, I apologize and I hope to have some awkRAD stories to come...

In the meantime, I just learned how to make youtube videos. Thus, I will most likely be posting gay videos of me and my friends doing things that only we will find funny.

I have a feeling this summer is going to be pretty bland...Boooooo to everyone who went home. I was forced to buy a hookah and use it everyday by myself. Yup, hookah = life right now. Man this is going to be boring...

Homos are gay.

2007-06-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

So the talk of the town lately has been Brandon's concern with how his sexual orientation is deliberated. If you know Brandon, you know that he's an awesome guy and is definitely NOT gay. But...there are just certain quirks that allow first impressions to show otherwise. For example, his boss admitted to him that she initially thought he was gay and had asked all of the employees at his company to not make any gay jokes. Hahahaha. Sorry, I'm still laughing about this. Here are some of the funny things that people have said to try to "help" Brandon in his conquest of not being "gay."

Brandon's friend Melissa aka "Pizza" says it's because Brandon is "fun but femmie sometimes" and the fact that he is "always talking on the phone" and his musical taste (which includes a mix that would only be played at an 18 and over gay club...aka the Fired Up! mix). She also says Brandon tends to "talk fast and says 'like' and 'you know' a lot." She offered some advice by saying Brandon should take up football or something. His response was, "But I play soccer." In return Melissa said, "That's more European than anything. And that is GAY." Hahahahaha.

On the other side of the spectrum, Karen gives excellent advice to Brandon. She says, "join a flag football team, get a tattoo (not a femmy one) and to listen to angry punk music." Brandon considers getting the tattoo and asks what he should get...Karen says, "A barbed wire or something around your calf." Ha! Barbed wire?!!! Are you serious?!!! Dude...

Katie thinks Brandon should take the "slackers approach" by being a huge d-bag to the prettiest girl he sees at the bar. She says that girls LOVE d-bags and should say something lewd when approaching a girl. Brandon brings up the time he called a girl with really curly hair, "Fraggle Rock," in which Katie said, "No...that is GAY."

Here's what I said:
And I'm not being biased or anything, but seriously this is a GREAT idea. Straight girls LOOOOOOOVE gay guys. They totally want the gay best friend who they can go shopping with and talk trash to, right? SO...Brandon should just play this card and totally pull the, "I'm willing to experiment with you" line. Dude! It would totally work! Think about it. It's an ego boost to have someone "switch teams" because you were such a rad person. Think of it as a form of flattery. That's my two cents. Or sense. Or whatever that fucking saying is.

Brandon, basically your answer is to just be a lesbian. You're already halfway there.

Hung...over.

2007-06-05T13:04:00.000-07:00

I have a wicked hangover today. I plan on laying in bed and trying to figure out what I did last night. Yup, it was a GREAT night :) Fuck you Corey for convincing me that mixing Merlot and Corona would be amazing. I feel like poop today.

Welp, I'm off to Los Angeles for a few days. I don't think I will be updating from there...unless something fantabulous happens. Peace.Out.

PS Don't ever sing "Date Rape" by Sublime as a karaoke song. Apparently it's just not cool. I learned the hard way last night...whoopsies.

Holler if you'd like to hang out in LA. I'm fun, I swear.

His nickname is P-nasty for a reason.

2007-06-01T02:58:00.000-07:00

Perez Hilton--famed celebrity gossip "queen" calls himself P-Nasty. He should probably change it to P-Nasty Style. If I was a celebrity, I'd be PISSSSSSSED that a guy who wears overalls (they might as well be the Tommy Hilfiger ones with the straps that say "Tommy" on one and "Hilfiger" on the other) has the power to talk so much shit. I mean, are you fucking kidding me?!! Celebrities should start their own blog just making fun of Perez Hilton and his WHOREible style. Look at the belt. It might as well be a giant puka shell necklace. G.R.O.S.S. And the bag? Thank god I can't see the picture on it--it almost looks like it can be Hello Kitty. Totally A-Shun. And wicked shoes...I think my grandma owns the same pair (she borrowed them from Rosie O'Donnell). It's sad that I fail to even notice Kelly Osbourne's fugly ass because I'm too consumed with the fugliness Perez offers.

PS I'm totally writing this in hopes he blogs about me and talks shit. That would be sweeeeeeeet.

Jason Mraz confuses me.

2007-05-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

Has anyone really looked at Jason Mraz's official myspace page? Take a look...

www.myspace.com/jasonmraz

Umm...his entire top 8 is Asian. But then his songs are in Spanish. I'm so fucking confused.

I'M SO JEALOUSSSSS.

2007-05-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

Campus Watch

May 31, 2007
By Blythe Lawrence

Two squatters at Stanford

Here’s one for the books: The Stanford Daily reported late last week that a fairly unassuming girl whom everyone had taken to be a prototypical freshman living in the Stanford dorms was not actually a Stanford student but a squatter who lived in residence halls on the Farm for eight months without anyone getting wise.

Azia Kim, 18, graduated from a prestigious high school in Fullerton, Calif. in 2007 and showed up in a Stanford dorm right before new student orientation in September. She found two girls to crash with on a temporary basis, telling them that she had moved out of a different dorm because she hadn’t gotten along with her roommate. She stayed there throughout the fall and winter and moved to a different dorm in the spring when a space in another room became vacant. Since her roommate spent most nights with her boyfriend, Kim, who didn’t have a key to the room, would climb in through the window.

All the while she kept up the charade of being a Stanford freshman, buying textbooks for classes she wasn’t enrolled in and even joining an ROTC program, which issued her more than $1,000 in military gear, according to a second Daily article that ran Tuesday. She was allowed to join ROTC after providing military officials with a forged transcript that showed she was earning mostly A’s and even received an ROTC award for good scholarship.

The jig was finally up after a suspicious RA e-mailed Stanford housing services early last week. The Housing staff sent an e-mail to Kim’s roommate explaining the situation, which Kim detected and promptly deleted from her roommate’s computer.

Azia Kim could be charged $175 per day for her unauthorized stay in the dorm, meaning the eight-month sojourn could cost her up to $42,000.

Why doesn’t this kind of thing ever happen at Boise State University?

“Friends aren’t sure of her motive for sneaking onto campus and living a lie,” The Daily reported, “but many speculate that she felt pressure from overbearing parents to attend Stanford — regardless of whether she was admitted.”

There must be something magnetic about Stanford, because The Daily reported Tuesday that a second squatter, Elizabeth Okazaki, has been barred from the campus physics lab. This squatter, also female, had apparently been living in the lab “sporadically” for four years, according to the newspaper. No word as to whether the University plans to charge her for those stays.

I could not stop laughing when I read this article. Are you fucking kidding me?!! This is amazing! I wish I would've thought of this--pretending to go to college. Even better, the fucker chose STANFORD. I guess if you're going to go, you might as well aim high. I wonder if I can pretend I'm someone famous--just live my life constantly pretending to be running away from the paparazzi, showing up to clubs with large sunglasses, looking homeless (a la Olsen Twins style)...I think I can do it. I think that will be my goal. I'm just seriously amazed with this person...WOW.

How to get into an LA party...

2007-05-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

The following email was sent to a bunch of Hollywood A-listers for an invitation to Nicole Richie's Memorial Day BBQ. It's very interesting...note the end of the email.

From: Nicole Richie <>
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Subject: Masha and Nicole's Memorial Day Party Date: Thu 24 Ma 2007 04:29:29 +0000

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let's stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let's glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

Mashas House
Sunday May 28th, at 2pm
XXXXX Crest Court
Beverly Hills, Ca 90210

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Please make sure to RSVP as this is a large party and we need to keep track of who's coming. Thanks

I wasn't aware Memorial Day was so supposed to be so festive. I totally just spent the day pressing the "Do Not Press" button on someone's myspace...

So the answer to the question "How can I get into all the cool parties in LA?"--Just follow Nicole Richie's advice: STOP EATING. Thin is soooooooooo in. Rehab is the new black. Hollerrrrrrr.

Memorial Day...

2007-05-28T21:24:00.000-07:00

Are people seriously writing bulletins on myspace saying "Happy Memorial Day"??!!!

WOW.

What does that even mean??

Oh Jennifer Beals...

2007-05-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

Flipping through the channels on a Monday evening, I came across a movie on Lifetime called "My name is Sarah." It stars our lovely Flashdance friend Jennifer Beals (also from the L Word) and the description was as follows:

"A bored woman poses as a recovering alcoholic to befriend members of Alcoholics Anonymous."

It basically starts off as Jennifer Beals leading a lonely boring life. She looks out of her window and sees a group of people laughing and having a good time. After realizing she has NO FRIENDS, she decides to join their "group." Their group just happens to be Alcoholics Anonymous.

Oh my god, this is totally going to be me. Not only am I going to live alone with 18 cats, I'm going to attend Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings and Book Clubs and other forms of Rehab to make friends. I look forward to it.

J. Timberlake deserves an Oscar.

2007-05-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I said it. Justin Timberlake totally deserves an Oscar. I just watched Alpha Dog [I know, I'm embarassed...], but I kind of really enjoyed it. After 4 attempts of going to Blockbuster--in both Richland AND Seattle, the movie I've been craving to see for 5 months, Music & Lyrics, has been sold out, errr...rented out. I wasn't aware people were jumping at the opportunity to watch Drew Barrymoore and Hugh Grant awkwardly sing some gay songs.

Thus, I was "forced" into renting Alpha Dog. It's actually a pretty decent movie. I was surprised Justin Timberlake could actually act. The movie is loosely based on a true story and takes place in Los Angeles. It's your typical you-owe-me-money-for-the-drugs-you-bought-last-week-or-else-I'm-going-to-kidnap-your-little-brother-and-kill-him movie. You know what I'm talking about.

Ok, I'm off.
No worries, I will be back in Tragic Kingdom soon [grrrr].

Thank God Stef quit her job. Now I can have fun again! And eat! And drink! Woooo Hoooooo!!!!!